Monday, June 27, 2011

Trembles. Questions. Speechless. Laughter ?

Have you ever experienced a time,
- when you're completely zoned out for a certain reason;
- you could not possibly describe the way your heart feels. it quivers. it hurts, yet it doesn't. undefined.
- you would normally only take 8 minutes to walk home, but this time, you took 15 minutes instead? you drag your feet across the ground pavement, look up at the heavy stratus clouds which slides slowly across the bright sky and think: what is this?
- your biggest fear of spiders disappear, because you're so concerned about another thing.
- you take your usual route back home, because the dark, quiet and narrow street which is filled with mentally and physically handicapped people during the day, doesn't scare you anymore, because... it just doesn't. nothing else seems to matter besides the issue that concerns you?
- the normal cold and strong breeze from outside turns warm?
- you're so spaced out you look at the street lamp and ask yourself nonexistent questions? i mean, questions.. which aren't questions. you stare at the lamp, ...and zone out. yeah.. not questions. in fact, no questions.
- you're afraid of sharing your thought with your beloved one, because you're afraid he would leave you?

your world, just turned grey. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

10 days. ♡

Stupid Norwegian hasn't gotten any better, still rainy and windy. Uff. Hope it's gonna get better when summer vacation kicks in! :( :) ..Which is on the 9th of June, 10 days time:D *countdown*
Speaking of 9th of June, there's so much happening that day. I have my final math exam which starts at 1 pm and ends at 3 pm. Piano concert at 19:00.. But I'm not sure if I'm bothered to go 'cause Stephen's graduation starts at 19:30 :/ AHHHHH *panic*
My friend, Ingrid, who moved to Texas last year is coming to Norway to visit this summer! She's gonna stay at mine for a couple of days, but unsure which dates, cause Stephen's friend's gonna stay at our place for a several days too... So gotta get that sorted before I plan anything else. :3
Oh, and another random thing, Ingrid went to Abercrombie&Fitch the other day, and on her way out, she got stopped by these people and asked if she wanted to model for them! Why can't stuff like that happen in Norway? -.- I'm so happy for her though:D and her boyfriend models for Hollister. Jesus, perfect couple much?

ANYWAYSSSSS back to my own business. *cough cough*
Things happening for the upcoming day + month
-my burfdayy:D
-2 math exams left
-school done in 10 days!
-Ingrid & Shag's visit
-Stephen's senior trip with friends (somewhere....)
-work. (.__.")
Any suggestions how I should celebrate my birthday ? :)

Ahhh I went out to Kvadrat (a mall.. apparently it's the biggest mall in Norway o.O) to return this tank top which I didn't want, stayed there for an hour or so, then headed back to Sandnes. I went into this other mall, VĂ¥gen Amfi, went into H&M, and OMFG TELESCOPIC IS ON SALE. So I got three. teehee :3
The three I bought today.. Each one was 79,50kr, x3 = 238,50kr which is.. ~ 43.9$ / 26.6£ / 30.7€.
I think it's a super deal, cause normally one would cost 179,50kr.
Do the calculations yourself :)

Left 3: bought today
Middle 3: Used up ones
Right 1: Currently using 

Gold Telescopic: Magnifies at the base of lashes + lengthens to the extreme. precision multi-comb
Telescopic Carbon Black: Extreme Lengthening Mascara + Carbon Black. Intensity Lash by Lash
Telescopic clean definition: Length + Precise Definition Mascara. High-Precision Flexible Brush
Telescopic EXPLOSION

I personally love all of them besides the explosion one,  because the ball makes my eyelashes all clumped up together, I dislike! But the other ones gives my lashes volume & length. How cool is that? I recommend these Telescopic mascaras, except they can get a bit pricey :/ That's why I usually buy a bunch when they're on sale haha :D I think the main reason why I fell straight in love with this brand is because of their flexible plastic wand. It's hard, and really does a great job at separating the lashes :)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

For Good

This is just a song that I want to share, in memory of Stephane Ngueguim, which we sang this at his memorial service today.

I've heard it said
that people come into our lives
for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
and we are lead to those
who help us most to grow
if we let them and we help them in return
Well i dont know if i believe that's true
But i know i'm who i am today
because i knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
halfway through the wood.
Who can say if i've been changed for the better
but, because i knew you
I have been changed for good.

It well may be
that we will never meet again in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me is made from what i learned from you
You'll be with me
like a hand print on my heart
Now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
by being my friend

Like a ship blown from it's mooring
by a wind off the sea
like a seed dropped by a sky bird
in a distant wood
Who can say if i've been changed for the better?
But because i knew you
because i knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air i ask forgiveness
for the things i've done you blame me for
But then i guess we know there's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter any more

Like a comet pulled from orbit
(like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes a sun
(By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder
(Like a seed dropped by a bird)
Halfway through the wood
(in a wood)
Who can say if i've been changed for the better?
I do believe i have been changed for the better
And because i knew you
because i knew you
because i knew you,
I have been changed...
for... good.

You made such a big impact on everyone's lives, mine included.
When everyone applauded to celebrate, celebrate that you have lived, and the laughter you brought I could not hold back my tears, and cried out for your name. I knew I won't be able to see your warm smile nor hear your crazy laughs ever again, but, they will be stored in my heart. I can still feel your presence, right beside me, giving me strength in things I do. Stephane, you have no idea how much we love you.
Philippine couldn't make it to the memorial today, forgive her, but she did ask Mona to read out the speech for her. I didn't think I'd cry that much, but I did, especially when Mona started her speech by saying, "This is written from the bottom of my heart."
Oh, and Joelli played 'You raise me up' on the piano, yes, Joelli, the buff guy. :P along with the other dude. I'm sure you heard us. Man.. who would've ever thought him to be such a good piano player and a singer, his beautiful voice captured my heart immediately.. it really did.
Stephane, I hope you are in a better place now. Whenever I miss you, I'll think of this comforting poem.. :

"Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grace and cry.
I am not there. I did not die."

No more pain.. I'll see you later buddy.
Loved you then, Love you still, Always have, & Always will. 
Continue to share that smile of yours with the angels up there. 

Friday, May 20, 2011

Too Sudden, Too Soon.

Today, was one of the worst days I've experienced in a long time.

Who could've ever known what would happen in the future? Okay, not future, let's say tomorrow. No? Okay, next hour. You think you know it? I don't.
Such is life. You think "tomorrow's just going to be an ordinary day", but really, every minute ahead of us is a mystery. One moment it could be sunny, and rainy the next.
I thank you, Stephane Nguegium, for bringing so much laughter into our science, math and geography classes; but most importantly, your smile could really turn one's day right back up no matter how harsh or shitty their day was.
You're an angel with a pure heart.
I should smile because you lived, and not cry, because you are gone. You're an influence to us all. Your strength, courage, and so much more to mention.

God saw you were getting tired
And a cure was not meant to be
So he put his arms around you
And whispered come with me
With tearful eyes we watched you
As we saw you pass away
Although we love you deeply
We could not make you stay
Your golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands at rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

I will miss the times you turned around in Chemistry to tap on my shoulder asking to borrow an eraser, or in a more ninja way, snatch it if I wasn't looking. I'm sorry for giving you death stares, I really didn't mean it.
I will miss the times you sat right behind me in geography, and Ms. Siddall would always tell you "Shhh STEPHANE" when you spoke a bit too loud, but she never cared if Lisa and I talked non stop. Oh, and when you spoke French to her and she pretended to know what you were on about.
You: You know?
Ms. Siddall: -nods carefully-
You: -imitates the nodding-
Ms. Siddall: No I don't know I am very sorry Stephanee!
-everyone else laughs-
Oh, and who could forget about Barbra Streisand and bus duty.
I will miss the times you rambled on about some random stuff in biology.. and Mr. Austenberg'd be like: Hmmmm no. Your reaction: AW MAN!
Gotta love that.
I will miss the times seeing you sit at the way front in physics.
Everything just won't be the same anymore.
No more laughter in the corridors, arguments with you in geography, no one who's going to snatch my eraser from me in chemistry..
I will miss the times when you always came up to Rachel and I to get that answer sheet for the past papers, and I'd always tell you: NO STEPHANE. and your reply'd always be: OKAY OKAY YOU NINJA! don't look at me like that ! stephane.. I miss you.
When we were learning about bearings.. you asked why we were learning about bears and whipped out your little dictionary, you're precious.

But that's okay.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
All those memories will be stored in my heart.. a special place just for you.

That smile 

Geography.. good times, good times.

You're a quiet one with a loud voice and big heart.
Unique. Special. One of a kind. 
Rest in Peace Stephane. You will be missed by us all.
My most heartfelt condolences to your family.
Thanks for everything,
                         I love you. 

P.S. Please say hi to Riccardo for me, I'm sure you two will become great friends.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Write me a story

Mwahhh I haven't blogged in so long, uff.
Study leave started on the 9th of May, and had two exams done. One on the 9th, and one on the 12th. 
Bad news, I still have 10 other exams. Good news is, I will have 2 tomorrow, one on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, so that means, I will have 5 down and 5 to go:D
That weekend, Imma go to a birthday party so woot woot :)
I HATE HATE HATE morning exams. urgh. -.-"

Missing a smile? I'll give you one of mine 

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Nervous breakdown?

Shit man, my first exam starts on monday. yes. monday. ON THE NINTH OF MAY. aka this upcoming monday. I'm scared, I really am.
Panic. Panic Panic.
My brother is off at Kongeparken with his friends for this landstreffet thing, where he gets to see LUDACRIS and MADCON and FLO RIDA. I'm so jealous :'( He came home with a glow last night, it was funny. :)
I'm not bothered to describe the whole situation with the landstreffet in details, but basically it's this Norwegian tradition to party at this amusement park for the whole weekend, and a lot of big artists are gonna be there and yahhh.

Anyways, back to math. Math exam is on Monday, startin off with paper 2, and I am soooo freaking scared that I will fail or something.. Cause my parents are expecting a lot from me :/ pressure! I hope I'll do well >.< I don't remember all the formulas and shizzle, not cool. :( AND how to use the graphics calculator correctly, fml.

Tomorrow (sunday) Imma wake up at 8 just to study for maths. yes. That's my plan.